Read: Take your prejudice out of my Queer community!

It always worries me when people take a ‘moral’ stance against the sexuality of other people, and in particular the sexual behaviour of queer people. But it really incenses me, when the person making that judgemental stance is queer themselves.

So I’m pretty pissed off to read this piece of drivel in The Odyssey written by Heidi French. It has a provocative title: Keep Your Kink Out Of My Pride Parade, and in it, she basically excoriates queer folk who are into bdsm and/or leather and says they don’t belong in Pride events or even the pride community. She believes the queer communities are not about sex, but sexual orientation. She also is very concerned how kinky people might disturb youngsters. This is, of course, an old refrain from puritanical morons: “ Won’t someone think of the children!”

Ironically, in Heidi’s latest column she berates members of her family for not supporting gay rights and that the relationship between them can “only be repaired by opening your mind.”

Well, Heidi, you need to look up the meaning of the word ‘hypocrite.’ I think you’ll find it quite instructive.

Pride is and always has been about celebrating diversity and overcoming prejudice. In your puritanical desire to purge the Rainbow Communities of sexual deviancy, I wonder who will be next?  Are drag queens safe? How about drag kings? What about transgender or intersex people? 

Will the only folks allowed in your sanitised spectrum of pride be monogamous gay couples who only practice the missionary position?  Because if that is the way you think, then you have a lot more in common with homophobic bigots than you realise.

I’d like you to re-read some words from your latest column:

I’m proud to be a lesbian and no amount of bigotry from you will ever change that. Love will always win, so you better get used to it.”

It seems to me Heidi that you aren’t practicing what you preach, so I’m suggesting that you take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself this question:

“Why do I feel this strong prejudice against some of my fellow queer folk?” 

Then remember what you’ve written about prejudice and apply it yourself!


  1. LOVED that, Andrew. Well done. Here was my own response:

    Quick! Somebody pour this young Odyssey writer a steaming cup of context! Personally, I’d like her to keep her “Pride” out of “my” *Freedom* Day Parade (yes, dahling; at least here in SF, that was its original name) but we found that Platinum Visas and Stoli Vodka aren’t sexual orientations, and that “freedom” word, in the era of “‘Citizens’ United” to be just so “dividing”, n’est-ce pas? Wanting it “nice” for the kids, and not caring to know about others’ bedroom activities (really?). We may die of boredom, or at minimum, fall asleep on these floats, if not careful. The one bridge I think the writer may eventually find toward understanding kink’s inclusion is that last letter — (say it with me, oh frightened children, “‘Q’ is for ‘Queer!'”).

    • Shocker! Another polemic lesbian with a marginalising opinion so full of hot air there is none left for others to breathe. Only she can define pride. Yawn.

  2. To be sure, it’s a recent addition, one we took back, but one which suggests there are *many* genders “t.b.a.”, waiting for understanding, fostering and celebration. I have in my pan-sexy tribe several straight male friends whom I adore, men who are subs to their priestess-dom wives. To a man, they are heart-centered beings of exceptional integrity, oh-so-magically delicious, and queer, every inch. And the sex (don’t worry dear, it’s *not* in the bedroom!) from these dear people borders on what I would call “sacred”: riotously awakening in its impact, sensual, thoughtful and creative in its play — and yes, “kinky”. In other words, the very antithesis of assimilationist “normalcy”. It *isn’t* normal; it is life-saving, culture-extending *progress*, the very deviants referenced in Frank Zappa’s famous quote.

  3. We have no more need to be all things for America’s prying eyes than New Orleans’ Mardi Gras needs a mandatory prayer breakfast. One thing’s for sure: kink-positive men and women, whatever our gender proclivity, are *galaxies* beyond “straight”. This writer needs to scratch the itch burgeoning below her surface-seeming views, and stir some history into her coffee. Oh, and that “next tattoo” her byline writes her as pining for? *That*, to another era’s eyes, is *most definitely* kinky!


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